A Twinkling Turkey Torchwood Thanksgiving
by Aviv b
Summary: It's Owen's turn to make Thanksgiving dinner. What could possibly go wrong?


**Summary: It's Owen's turn to make Thanksgiving dinner. What could possibly go wrong?**

A/N: Now before anyone gets their knickers in a twist about Torchwood celebrating Thanksgiving, just remember that RTD stated in a pre-MD interview on After Elton that Jack was an American.

**A/N2: **My third annual Thanksgiving story. There are a few references to previous years' celebrations, but nothing critical. Previous years' stories can be found in my main story list.

**Yr 1 - A****Thanksgiving****to****Remember:**Rated PG. Gwen decides that the Team should prepare a traditional Thanksgiving dinner for Jack. Things do not go as planned.

**Yr 2 - A Pterrible Pteranodon Pthanksgiving**- Rated PG. This year its Ianto's turn to make the Thanksgiving dinner. Do things ever go as planned?

As always, no CoE or MD in my universe. Everyone is alive and well and living in Cardiff.

* * *

><p>"Where's Owen?" Gwen couldn't believe it when Tosh said he was taking Monday morning off to buy everything he needed to make Thanksgiving dinner for the team.<p>

"Owen's making Thanksgiving this year?" Gwen said trying her best to keep the disbelief out of her voice.

"That's what Jack said," Tosh replied with a shrug.

"But why not you? You can cook, right?"

"Apparently vegetarian isn't considered traditional Thanksgiving fare."

"Makes me sorry I started the 'Jack is American, let's have Thanksgiving dinner' joke a few years back."

Tosh smiled indulgently. As she recalled, Gwen had been quite serious about the dinner she prepared during her first year at Torchwood. But so much had changed since then. Gwen and Rhys were married now and their baby would be born in the spring. Jack and Ianto clearly were a couple, but they would never, ever be caught using that word.

She had finally gotten over her delusions that Owen would be good for her. Oddly, the less interest she showed in him, the nicer he was to her. But she acknowledged that he would never really appreciate her the way she deserved. Still he had cut back on his drinking and the banter between him and Ianto had softened, taking on a good-natured tone. Maybe they could get through a Thanksgiving dinner without major drama this year. At least they'd be at Owen's flat which meant that he couldn't try to poison Myfanwy.

The next few days were filled with the usual activities. Monday afternoon weevils were downtown apparently doing a little early Christmas shopping. The usual 'kids still playing with Halloween masks' story took care of that easily enough.

A small Space Walker vehicle showed up at St. David's Shopping Centre. "It's just amazing what you can do with Lego's these days," Ianto told the news reporter as the rest of the team cleaned up the mess it had created as it stormed through the mall.

Wednesday was relatively quiet, until someone spotted Myfanwy flying back to the base with some road kill. Fortunately, the man was a known over imbiber, so they were able to pass off the incident as hallucinations due to a bit too much drink.

Thursday, the rift predictor indicated that nothing major was expected to appear at least through the evening early hours. So the team sat around catching up on paperwork, while pondering what Owen would be cooking for dinner.

"I wonder what Owen's making for Thanksgiving?" Gwen asked her teammates at lunch.

"Drunken chicken," Ianto snarked.

"I'll just be happy if we can get through the meal without him pulling some stunt," Tosh laughed as she thought about the previous year's Thanksgiving fiasco.

"Okay, that's enough," Jack said trying to look serious. "I have it on good authority that Owen has been working diligently on this meal to make up for last year. So let's cut him a little slack, and as long as it's edible, just be nice."

"Yes, Tad," Gwen said rolling her eyes.

"I believe edible is the key here; what do we do if it isn't," Ianto asked.

"I can make my wrist strap signal a rift alert," Jack said proudly.

"If I find out that you did that at my last Christmas party, Mr. Harkness, you are in big trouble," Gwen teased.

"I would never do that except under the most dire circumstances. We were having a great time at your party. And besides, you saw the remains of those Glaxons yourself the day after."

"True," Gwen answered, but wondered just how many of those emergency rift alerts or reports of weevils on the loose (that always seeming to require Ianto's assistance) were for real, and how many were for another kind of weevil hunting altogether.

Owen woke up early to begin his cooking for Thanksgiving. The team would have been surprised if they knew how much he wanted to show them that he could prepare a gourmet dinner. He'd watched MasterChef for years and while he'd never admit it, he thought cooking was a lot like medicine. You had to measure and weigh and mix and cut and sometimes sew things up. He was brilliant medic, how hard could cooking a turkey be? To top that off, he had picked up a DVD, 'A Real Unique American Thanksgiving', which came with step-by-step recipes.

He had made a list of everything that needed to be done and was pleased that his meal preparations were right on schedule. He had finished all the side dishes by noon including a special surprise for Captain Jack. It didn't look all that appetizing, but it was supposed to be a universal Thanksgiving favorite.

_"Well, I know Jack is a bit bonkers about marshmallows, so at least he'll like it."_

He cleaned the turkey the night before so it would be ready for stuffing and roasting. Ianto had suggested making the stuffing separately, but Owen was determined to do everything as authentically as possible. Stuffing made in a casserole was not traditional to his way of thinking.

He had considered making oyster stuffing which seemed to popular in the United States, but oysters were so much a part of Welsh cooking that it just didn't feel very American to him. He searched on line until he found a recipe that surely was an American classic. So authentic, that he'd had to resort to ordering one of the ingredients from an import shop in London.

He opened the box and looked at the individually wrapped cakes. As he looked at the instructions, he realized that the preparation was a little more complicated than he had anticipated. Still, they weren't hard to cut open, and he did get most of the cream out.

"Reserve the creme for making the glaze later," he read out loud. He looked at the little bowl of filling and wondered how that was ever going to make a glaze. The rest of the stuffing was easy enough. He combined all the ingredients, packed the stuffing into the bird, trussed it up and put it back in the refrigerator.

He checked his list. Three hours to dinner; time to set the table. That done, he turned on the oven, put the turkey on a rack and set it to cooking. He finished making the glaze for the turkey which fortunately would only have to be applied to the turkey fifteen minutes before it was served.

He grabbed a quick shower, shaved and dressed and was ready with a half hour to spare. Tosh called and told him that they had had a quiet afternoon and were expecting to be on-time.

"So everything go okay?" she asked.

"Superbly, if I do say so myself."

"Well that's good then, we'll see you later."

Rhys arrived first, handing Owen an apple pie he had made for dessert.

"I thought it best if I brought the dessert this year," Rhys said with a smile.

"Thanks," Owen replied a bit embarrassed as he recalled the previous year's festivities.

Rhys and Owen had an uneasy relationship, but cooking was a safe topic. As he helped Owen plate the hors d'oeuvres, Rhys shook his head in amazement.

"You've really outdone yourself, mate. Did you make all of these yourself?"

"Nah, I just bought frozen. But the rest of the meal, I did make from scratch."

"Yeah, I do the same thing with starters," Rhys admitted. "It takes too much time, otherwise."

They opened some wine and had a few glasses, as Owen described everything he had made. Rhys was a bit bewildered by the stuffing ingredients, but tried to keep the mood positive. When Owen gave Rhys one of the left over little cakes, he eyed it speculatively, but ate it none the less.

"Not bad, it's really not. It's good to try new and different foods. And it sounds like the stuffing will just be a bit sweeter and less savory than we normally have."

"And it's very American. I read that people dip them in batter and deep fry them."

"No, your kidding," Rhys said a bit horrified. "That just seems so wrong."

Owen pulled open a cabinet filled with several additional boxes.

"I got a bit confused when ordering them. I thought there was one to a box, so I bought six boxes. I didn't realize there were eight to a box. So I've got a whole lot left over. If you have any ideas of what to do with them, I'm listening."

Rhys laughed. "Yeah, well you could make yourself a lot of tiramisu or a trifle."

"You know that's not a bad idea. Cheers," Owen said as he poured them another glass of wine.

The team arrived at Owens house a short while later.

"We're starving," Jack told Owen. "Ianto hid the Hobnobs so we wouldn't spoil our appetites this afternoon."

"He's so mean," Gwen said laughing.

"Don't think I didn't see you and Tosh sneaking out at four o'clock for a bite," Ianto teased.

Tosh blushed. "We just split a chocolate bar."

"Girls, I'm shocked," Jack said grinning. "You could have just taken one from the stash Ianto keeps for Myfanwy in his desk."

"I wondered what happened to the one I had in there today. You realize that was unsweetened baker's chocolate."

"Unfortunately, not until I'd taken a big bite. But don't worry, I wrapped all of it up and put it back in your desk."

Ianto could scarcely believe what he was hearing. "You wrapped up all of it including the bite you took?"

"Well yeah. It's not like Myfanwy is going to know the difference."

Owen saw that this exchange could escalate into a long debate about Myfanwy's dietary requirements, which would only remind everyone of his not-so-funny prank from the previous Thanksgiving.

"Alright, into the lounge with you," Owen said trying to get everyone out of the kitchen.

They sat in the lounge admiring the view, eating hors d'oeuvres and finishing off several bottles of wine. Owen went back and forth checking on the turkey and bringing out more food. He put the glaze on the turkey and then attempted to hustle everyone to the table. The team were all sporting a delightful buzz by this point and they really didn't want to get up. No matter what he did, they weren't budging from the nice comfy (and low) sofas they were sprawled on.

Finally, it was Rhys who took pity on him. "Oi, Owen's made us a magnificent meal and we don't want to have it get overcooked," he said as he struggled to his feet.

_"Overcooked," _Owen thought in horror. _"The turkey's been in the oven with the glaze on for far too long."_

"Back in a moment," Owen said as casually as he could as he went back to the kitchen.

"I think I'll just go help Owen get everything served," Ianto said, as he guided Jack over to the dining room table. Tosh Gwen and Rhys stumbled along behind.

Owen had taken the turkey out of the oven and was staring at it.

"Well it looks fine," Ianto said with relief.

"Yeah, well looks can be deceiving," Owen replied half way between laughter and tears. "The glaze has hardened around the turkey like cement. How am I ever going to cut this?"

Ianto stabbed at the turkey with a fork, but Owen was right, it had crystallized into an impervious shell.

"Ok, I've got an idea. We'll serve the other dishes and I'll just pop out to the SUV. I'm pretty sure I've got something in the boot that will work just fine."

"Dynamite?" Owen asked only half joking.

"Not to worry. We'll have this bird sliced and diced in no time," Ianto said as he grabbed one of the bowls holding the side dishes.

"The turkeys just resting a bit," Owen said as he put down a bowl of mashed sweet potatoes, "so I thought we'd just start with the sides."

"I need to pop out to the SUV for a moment," Ianto said, and he left the flat before anyone could ask why.

"Oh you made mashed potatoes this year," Jack said trying not to sound disappointed.

"What? I thought you liked sweet potatoes," Owen teased.

"Well I do, but…" Jack stopped speaking as he realized that it would be rude to complain.

"But there's no marshmallow fluff," Ianto said as he re-entered the flat.

"No marshmallows," Owen said in mock horror. "You can't have a real Thanksgiving without marshmallows." Owen uncovered a large bowl. "Oi! Look at this.!"

Everyone stared, speechless. Everyone except Jack.

"Yes! It's ambrosia! I haven't had this in about forty years. And you used the little multicolored marshmallows."

Jack ran over to where Owen was standing and gave him a huge kiss. Owen looked like a deer caught in head lights.

"I love Thanksgiving, and I love you Owen," Jack said leaning in for another kiss.

"Oi! Back off Harkness. I know where that mouth has been," Owen snarked as he gently pushed Jack away.

Tosh laughed so hard that she choked on the green bean casserole. Fortunately, a few back blows courtesy of Rhys got her sorted.

Jack heaped his plate with the ambrosia. He went to pass the bowl but everyone else was avoiding taking it. "You have to try some. You'll like it, really you will."

"I'm game," Rhys said taking a small spoonful. There was a deathly silence at the table while Rhys tasted a bit. "It's actually quite good," he pronounced. "No really, its is. Looks a bit strange, but its very tasty."

Everyone else tried it and with the exception of Tosh, they all liked it. "Its really dessert, though isn't it?" she asked.

"You could eat it as dessert…speaking of which is there a turkey around here somewhere?" Rhys asked.

Ianto stood. "I'll just go in and carve it and then…"

"Nonsense," Jack said. "Just bring that baby out here and I'll do the carving."

Ianto and Owen exchanged glances. Owen cleared his throat.

"I'll just go get it, then," he said as he retreated to the kitchen.

He brought the turkey out on a platter a few moments later. Everyone exclaimed that it looked divine.

"There's a little problem with the glaze," Owen started to say as he put the turkey in front of Jack.

Jack went to cut the bird, and couldn't make any headway. He tried to stab it with the carving knife and it skittled half off the serving platter.

"I guess there is a problem. What happened?"

"I glazed it with a mixture that was high in corn syrup, and it's crystallized into a hard sugar shell."

"But I have just the tool for carving the turkey," Ianto said pulling out what looked like a small flashlight.

"A laser cutter, perfect," Jack said as he activated it and began to dissect the turkey.

And it was perfect. The skin was inedible, but the turkey was tender and juicy and everyone loved the stuffing.

"I have to admit, I didn't think you could pull it off Owen, but this has been an amazing meal," Ianto told him as they finished the main courses.

"The stuffing is so unusual. Not anything like we make around here," Tosh said.

"I'm going to want the recipe, that's for sure mate," Rhys said.

"I'm almost afraid to ask, but what are the main ingredients," Ianto queried. It's not bread stuffing, but I can't figure out what it is."

"First it is a bread stuffing, but since I wanted it to be American, it uses cornbread. And then there's a secret ingredient," Owen said smiling wickedly.

"Here it comes, everyone be nice," Gwen laughed as she waited to hear what prank Owen had played on them this year.

"It's called Twinkling Turkey. It has Twinkies in the stuffing."

"What the hell is that," Ianto said looking concerned.

Jack sighed. "Twinkies. Could this meal get any better?"

"But what are they?" Gwen asked looking at Jack.

"Little, delicious golden sponge cakes with crème filling." Jack said his face in a wide grin,

"He's got a whole kitchen cabinet filled with them," Rhys told them.

"Do you really?" Jack asked like a thirsty man begging for water.

Owen hesitated. "But Rhys made a very nice apple pie…"

"Ah screw the pie," Rhys said good naturedly. "You can eat that tomorrow. Let's have those Twinkies."

A box of Twinkies was produced and everyone grabbed one.

"You could make a trifle with these," Gwen said as she inspected one.

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking," Rhys said.

"I bet they'd be good with warm chocolate sauce," Tosh added winking at Ianto.

"Add strawberries and you'd have a grand dessert."

Owen came out of the kitchen with an assortment of jars. "Ok, chocolate sauce, strawberry jam, and whipped topping. Have a party."

As full as they all were, that didn't stop anyone from trying a Twinkie.

An hour and several boxes of Twinkies later, the meal was finished.

"I can't move. I'm going to die," Tosh said as she held her stomach.

"I think my teeth have rotted out of my head," Gwen added.

"That's because you had four of them with jam and chocolate and whipped topping," Ianto pointed out.

"But they're small," Gwen retorted.

"I think they expand in your stomach after you eat them," Jack groaned.

"Did you really scrape the crème out of Twinkies to make the glaze?" Ianto asked.

"Yeah, and it was very delicate work, I'll have you know," Owen said as he put a hand to his chest. "Heartburn. Good thing I have the perfect aperitif." He headed back to the kitchen.

"Oh please Owen, no more. I'm about to burst," Rhys said.

"Just some tonic, without the gin."

"Thank goodness."

"Yeah, I'll take some."

Jack got to his feet. "I know that celebrating Thanksgiving started as a bit of a lark seeing as I am a real, fake American. But we don't often get a chance to be together and enjoy each other's company. I will admit I was concerned that something would go wrong at dinner, but Owen, you have done yourself proud."

"Hear, hear," Rhys added as everyone applauded Owen's efforts.

"There's nothing better than enjoying a holiday with good friends and family. You all are not only my friends but the family I have chosen for myself," Jack said choking up a bit.

Ianto stood up and continued. "And we are all proud to be part of the Torchwood family." He raised his glass of tonic. "To Torchwood, to Captain Jack, and all of us celebrating again together next year."

"Hear, hear!"

And as Ianto hoped, they were all together for many years to come.

* * *

><p><strong>Recipes, we got recipes:<strong>  
>Ambrosia<p>Ingredients1 (8 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed2 1/2 cups shredded coconut1/2 cup chopped walnuts1 (8 ounce) can fruit cocktail, drained1 (8 ounce) can pineapple chunks, drained1 (11 ounce) can mandarin oranges, drained3 cups miniature marshmallows1 (10 ounce) jar maraschino cherries, drained (optional)1 teaspoon ground nutmeg1 teaspoon ground cinnamonDirectionsIn a large bowl, combine the whipped topping, coconut, chopped nuts, fruit cocktail, pineapple, mandarin oranges, marshmallows, cherries, nutmeg and cinnamon. Mix together well and refrigerate for 30 to 45 minutes.

****  
><strong>Twinkling Turkey<strong>  
><strong>Ingredients<strong>  
>1 (8 12 ounce) package yellow corn muffin mix, prepared and baked according to package instructions  
>6 Twinkies halves lengthwise<br>1 (14-18-pound) turkey  
>1 tart apple, peeled, cored and diced<br>1/4 cup honey  
><strong>Instructions<strong>  
>Remove the muffins from the oven and allow to cool on a wire rack. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.<p>

Scrape the creme-filling out of the Twinkies with a small spoon and reserve in small bowl.

Cut the Twinkie pastry into cubes and spread in a single layer on a baking sheet. Bake for 8 – 10 minutes, until lightly toasted. Remove from oven and allow to cool completely. Decrease the oven temperature to 325 degrees.

Rinse the turkey. Crumble muffins into a bowl, add the apple and toasted Twinkies and mix lightly. Loosely stuff the mixture into the turkey and truss the legs. Place the turkey, breast side up, on a rack set in a roasting pan. Roast the turkey for 12 to 15 minutes per pound, until the thigh temperature reaches 175 degrees to 180 degrees and the juices run clear.

In a small bowl, combine the honey with the reserved creme filling and mix well. Brush the turkey with the honey mixture during the last ten to fifteen minutes of roasting time.

Remove the turkey from the oven and let stand for 20 minutes before carving. 


End file.
